Stability and Reference for College Students – Fear and Controlling Emotions
Do you get upset easily? Do you get overly upset after doing poorly or even failing a homework assignment, quiz, test, project or final exam? Are you accustomed to always getting your own way? Do those who know you think, “When you don’t, watch out!”? Do worry and anxiety plague you constantly? Whether you attend one of the best online colleges, a great traditional university campus or your local community college, most students engage in worry and anxiety, which show clearly in their emotions.
Can You Handle Stress?
Life is stress. It is filled with pressures and surprises that you never planned for or thought you would have to deal with, at least not in the near future. But here they are. You have a “pop quiz” in math class. You have three huge homework assignments; and they are all due tomorrow. Your roommate just invited two loud and boisterous friends into your room; and you’re trying to study. So you head for the library, but its pouring rain outside and the library is a half mile from your dormitory. You have no car. Plus, your girlfriend (or boyfriend) just told you they are busy next Friday night. Life can pile up on you! So what should you do?
What is your part?
First, let’s begin with what you should not do. Don’t worry, which actually is fear about the future, i.e. fear about what might happen. One anonymous writer explained it this way, “Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due.”
Do what you can with the available resources. Actually, you can do little else. However, make sure you actually are using all available resources. Depending on the problem, there may be many human and inanimate resources you are overlooking. Consider querying your roommate, a friend, your academic counselor, the librarian, your pastor, your parents or aunt or uncle or cousins or other students taking the same class. Consider using library resources such as other textbooks with a different perspective or method of explaining a theory, an encyclopedia (online or hardcopy), a dictionary or thesaurus, or last week’s homework assignment. In other words, think!
But your mind is simply fried! Your tired and frustrated. What I say to myself, or force myself to say, is “Good! I must be learning something today, even though it may be the hard way!” At that point it is often best to get away from the problems and get your mind on something else. I am always surprised at the fresh ideas I have after just 10 or 20 minutes of getting away. Then, upon returning I am much more apt to find a solution, a new resource or talk to a person who can help.
What is God’s Part?
What is hard, I deal with, but ask God for help and do so regularly. What is impossible I leave to God, period! But if I cannot ask God’s help with the hangnail, the paper-cut or headache, I probably will not be asking Him about the broken leg I got in a car accident. He is always there to help. And, believe it or not, God has no problems! He is omniscient; therefore, he has only solutions! Talk to Him just as you would to your best friend, because He should be your very best Friend.
My pastor always says, “Discouragement is a failure of the will” – the will to believe that God is in control and can help. Fear, anxiety and worry are simply the result of a person doubting God’s ability to handle a situation or doubting His ability to help you handle a situation. Actually, if God is real in your life, life’s challenges (We often call them troubles or problems.) are merely what makes life interesting, fun and ultimately enjoyable. Let God do the hard part, and the impossible parts, and you will enjoy life so much more!
As always, your comments and questions are most welcome. Thank you for reading!
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